Jacob's Day

Four years ago today my first and perfect little nephew, Jacob, was born.  It is always a little bit of a emotional day for me filled with hard and sad memories but also very powerful and strengthening memories.  I always try to visit his grave around his birthday and just pay him a little visit.  On Sunday, T, O, and I were down in American Fork for Sunday dinner with T's fam and we dropped by the cemetery to leave some flowers (and say Hi to Poppie too, of course!).  T had some flowers left over from a bridal bouquet she had done, so she put a little bouquet together for me to leave.  Even though I never got talk to or play with this little guy, I love him and he inspires me to be better person.

 

On Sunday night, I rifled through one of my boxes and found my journal where I wrote about March 6, 2008.  I thought I would share some of my thoughts for that journal entry:
"I got a call from my mom at 6:30am.  She told me that Kara was in labor.  I said, "Who?!" Because no one that I knew should have been in labor that day.  When she told me again that it was Kara, and that there was no way the baby was going to make it, I was devastated.  This was the first little baby in our family.  We were all looking forward to it so much.  Then my heart was broken for Kara and Ryan.  Why did this have to happen to them?  I remember thinking that if there was any way I could suffer this for them, I would.  At times I felt relief.  If this had to happen, it was better to have it happen now than in a few weeks or even worse, at full term or after he was born and we already knew his little personality.
I felt my testimony of the plan of salvation tested and pushed.  I felt an overwhelming love for my Savior and the Atonement.  I knew that if anything could make sense of this and make us all whole again, it was Him.  It very quickly became clear to me that Jacob was very special, a precious son of God.  His spirit was so righteous, he came to this earth long enough to just get a body.  That's all he needed here.  I think it was that one realization that really helped me get through this experience.  The other thing I really remember feeling was great love and respect for Kara and Ryan.  God knew they were strong enough to handle this.  God knew He could give them a perfect little child, and they would raise their other children righteously so that they all could be with Jacob again.
I headed down to Provo with Amy and met up with Deeds.  I remember Kara's room being very peaceful.  We cried together, and she told us everything that had happened.  It had been a long, scary, devastating night.  We all got to hold Jacob's little body.  Besides being small, he was perfect.  So adorable.  I remember you could see his little blonde eyebrows and eyelashes.  Ryan was so calm, and I remember him actually comforting me.  I was never prouder to call him my brother than I was through this whole experience.  While it was extremely difficult to go to that hospital room, I would not have wanted to be anywhere else.  It was a privilege to hold that precious boy.
I never got to meet Jacob Ryan Cosby, but I know I will someday.  I love him, and I hope I can live my life in a way that I can be an aunt to him in the life to come."

So those were a few excerpts from my journal.  It was a major learning experience for me four years ago so I just wanted to share a little bit of that here. 
Happy Birthday, little pal!  I'm sure he's the most awesome missionary on the other side of the veil.  I love you, Jacob!

Coach's Show

Last week, O and I went down to Provo to the Coach's Show with Dave Rose.  It is recorded at the Legends Grill on campus and is basically Greg Wrubell (voice of the Cougars and a legend) interviewing Coach Dave Rose and a player about the games the week before and the games coming up in the next week.  I was expecting there to be quite the crowd there to listen to this radio broadcast.  Boy, was I wrong!  We showed up, and it was literally O and I.  That's it.  Greg Wrubell was there getting set up.  There were a couple of guys helping him get set up.  And then there was O and I.  So so soooo funny!  We felt like such groupies. Eventually a couple of students came and sat in the area, and Coach Rose's wife was there.  We decided just to own the experience and have fun.  The guest player was Brandon Davies.  Love that guy!  Couldn't pass up a pic with him.  Yes, I am standing on a full blown chair and still shorter than him.  So funny!

 O and Brandon

Olivia chatted it up with Sis. Coach Rose during a commercial break, so we felt like we were pretty tight after that.  We got a pic with Coach Rose afterward.  Bottom line is that we are very funny.  Here they are just doing their little radio broadcast with O and I sitting there watching them.  And we couldn't even hear them very well because they were talking into headsets and to each other, not to us.  We were as happy as clams getting to be in the presence of these people we love though.  And that is probably the funniest part.  It was the highlight of the week!  Are we groupies?

I am on my tiptoes...Dave didn't like that.

Come What May and Love It #3 - To Infinity and Beyond

Last Saturday, T, O, and I volunteered to help clean our church building.  We walked in to get our assignments and I said, "I want whatever job involves that thing (pointing to the apparatus I'm wearing in the picture below)."  I thought it looked like it would make me feel like I was hiking when I was wearing it.  Come to find out, it is the vacuum they use to vacuum the chapel...under the pews, choir chairs, benches, etc.  It was quite a handy little device, and I did feel like I was hiking kind of.  I quite enjoyed myself.  The bishopric member in charge said he couldn't believe I vacuumed the whole chapel with that thing strapped on me because they usually have a big dude do that job.  Ain't no thing!  I can handle it!

Then when I walked into the chapel yesterday for choir practice yesterday, I wanted to weep when I saw someone's bag of cereal had exploded all over the chapel.  And I mean ALL OVER...not just around one bench, but several benches. All my hard work and the ward before ours destroyed it.  Then the thought quickly popped into my head...at least that means there were people at church this morning!  Gotta love it!  I hope I get to use that vacuum pack again soon!